Elizabeth Vargas: Alcoholic
Do I know who Elizabeth Vargas is? No, but she’s an alcoholic. She sounds pretty cool. She looks pretty cool too, look at the half barrels she has on her chest. True gozungas. Apparently she’s a news anchor for ABC or something, does shit for 20/20.
When I think of alcoholics, I think of a person who’s drinking a couple 5ths of liquor a day then takes down a case of beer just to make sense of things. What can Elizabeth be doing; a couple glasses of wine and a Mike’s Hard Lemonade a day? Come on, if she’s an alcoholic then I’m an astrophysicist.
On another note, Elizabeth is married to Marc Cohn aka Mr Walking in Memphis aka Mr Silver Thunderbird aka Mr True Companion. To write songs like that, he gotta have a big one, right?